Note from Leigh: Just a heads up, there are affiliate links in this post, because if I’m sending you to Amazon with recommendations, they owe me cold hard cash ;)

The other night, a girlfriend said we should get together for a nightcap after she was finished teaching a class. The class ended at 8pm.

Yeah, it didn’t happen. Why? Because we are exhausted mothers who are nearly comatose by 8:30pm, and we aren’t the only ones. Those of us party hosts who are of – ahem – let’s say ‘a certain age’ can think twice about hosting parties when a late night will derail our sleep cycles for the following week.

And from a guest’s standpoint, the idea of staying out late has the same effect. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been invited to something and immediately think, “It ends at 11? That’s way past my bedtime”.

I talk to a lot of guests, and that tiredness at the end of the week, mixed with the idea of a party, can be overwhelming, and that’s when we, as hosts, get last minute cancellations. For a cocktail party, that’s one thing. For a murder mystery party, that’s a game changer – or, rather, a game ruiner.

How To Throw A Please Leave By 9 Murder Mystery Party

What is a ‘Please Leave By 9’ Party?

I have been seeing a rise in this trend of what’s called “Please Leave By 9” parties, and immediately I felt seen. Heard. Validated. (Clearly, it doesn’t take much – haha) So, I tried hosting some “Please Leave By 9” SHOT mystery parties, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that it’s the greatest thing ever for people like me… those who have a second glass of wine and have hang-xiety for the next three days, who are up at five am regardless of the time we go to sleep, who need two days to recover from socializing.

See, now you feel seen, heard and validated, amiright?

The “Please Leave By 9” concept is so perfectly brazen that it’s fun, funny and also not as offensive as telling your guests to get the hell out of your house. It’s a collective agreement that the party will wrap up early, and since everyone knows it from the outset, there’s no chance of that straggler guest staying until 2am. So, I thought I would give it a try and compare this slightly uncouth hosting strategy to the traditional party format… but, I had to do it Shot In The Dark Mysteries style – with a murder to solve!

Immediately, I found that my RSVPs were higher, once guests knew that the evening wasn’t going to take over their weekend. People started telling me it was easier to get child care as well. There were questions about what a ‘please leave by 9’ party meant, a lot of laughter and, believe it or not, excitement from my closest friends.

Could it really have been as easy as just having a collective early bedtime agreement?

(The answer is yes.)

I used this banner from Amazon as part of my decor

So, how would you go about hosting a SHOT mystery with a “Please Leave By 9” vibe?

1: Invitations

You can create your own invitations, but make sure that you explain the theme of the mystery party you chose, but also a “Please Leave By 9” party.

Regardless of how you invite your guests, make sure that you mention the “ Please Leave By 9 Mystery Party” theme. Some people will already know about it, some people will wonder what the heck you’re talking about, but they are popular enough now that a quick internet search will show them that you’re not being rude, it’s simply part of the theme for your mystery party.

Also vital: your start time MUST be early. I will discuss the timing in a bit more detail below, but your invitations should say that the party starts at 5:30pm. This gives you 30 minutes for late-comers, hellos and small talk before it’s time to start the mystery investigation.

I hung this banner in the party area where we played the murder mystery game

These napkins on the food table gave everyone a laugh

2: Decor

Re-affirm the “ Please Leave By 9” party theme with a banner. I used (and re-use) this one from Amazon, but you can make your own as well! Something as simple as a banner and some signs around your food table (like my “Eat, Drink, Solve a Mystery, Then Leave By 9) are the perfect tongue-in-cheek way to lean into this theme, make your guests laugh and also get everyone to bed at a perfectly reasonable hour.

3: It’s all about the timing

For our Mingle Mysteries, you can adjust our recommended timeline as you see fit. For example, if you have more time to play with, you can increase the time you allot for the investigations, but this example is a good jumping-off point for designing the timing of your interactive mystery party. The key to using a Shot In The Dark Mysteries murder mystery party kit for a Please Leave By 9 Mystery Party is the start time.

As I mentioned above, an early start time for your party is the key. So, if you have 5:30pm as your party start time, you’ll have 30 minutes to get people drinks, have a quick catch-up and introduce guests who don’t know one another. It also allows for late-comers without throwing off the timing of your party all together.

An example of the timing:

In this example, your party start time is 5:30, but your mystery investigation

start time is 6:00pm.

6:00 – 6:30pm: Gather everyone, play or read the Announcement of Murder, introduce the suspects to the group en masse (this is a preference, but one I like to do, regardless of whether your group knows each other well or are meeting for the first time).

6:30 – 8:00ish pm: Investigations (with a bit of buffer time worked in). The SHOT interactive format is very flexible, and the amount of time you need for investigations depends highly on how many people you have investigating (sleuths) and how many suspects you have chosen for your mystery party game. If you have a 6 suspect mystery and only 6 participants, you could get away with just an hour for investigations. If you have 50 people and 18 suspects, you’ll need longer for everyone to question all the suspects, verify alibis and re-question suspects as needed. So, for this example, we will use 90 minutes for the investigations. At around the one hour mark, I will begin asking people if they feel ready to cast an accusation yet or if they need more time… this is a great way to check in with your guests. If there are sleuths who are ready, I tell them to fill out their accusation forms and hand them in. For those who say they need more time, I let them know how much they have (15 minutes, 20 etc). This creates a really fun sense of urgency on the investigations as well, as people now race around with their last-minute questions!

8:00ish – 8:30ish pm: Collect accusation forms, discuss who each person accused and why (if you want, I love to do this) and then play/read The Big Reveal. The “ish” here gives you some flexibility for some more time to discuss accusations. At this point, your guests have just spent around 90 minutes crafting their theories and then handed in their accusations. Some (or most) are usually excited to share their theories and discuss what they discovered, so you can play with the timing here so that no one feels rushed while still landing in that 9pm sweet spot.

8:30ish – 9:00pm: Enjoy everyone telling you what a great party you had, small talk etc.

9:00pm: Everyone leaves, you ignore the post-party clean up, sit down with your favourite beverage and revel in the fact that you just created an amazing experience for you and your guests, and will still be in bed by 10pm.

Some Murder Mystery Game Ideas for your Please Leave By 9 Party

Perfect for lovers of all things retro, neon, and dramatic, Murder at the 1980s Prom is the ultimate murder mystery night for anyone who still knows every word to a John Hughes movie. Whether you actually lived through the 80s or just wish you had, this mystery is your excuse to pull out your old prom dress or suit (or go shopping for one) and relive the high school dance… only this time with more murder and less math.

Whether you’re a ride-or-die Bravo fan or just looking for a killer excuse to throw a glamorous drama-filled party for you and your girls, The Really Desperate Housewives Murder is your go-to mystery night. Packed with outrageous characters, juicy motives, and more side-eye than a reunion episode, this is one party your guests will be talking about long after the credits roll.

Summer party, pool party, backyard barbecue, Christmas party (yup!) or even a freaky tiki party theme – this Hawaiian murder mystery party game takes place at a tropical resort! Available in both co-ed and all-female versions, this murder mystery game involves a murder at a hut selling hula dolls. The murder weapon? A coconut.

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