Sometimes it feels like hosting a party is like orchestrating a mini masterpiece… each detail, from the guest list to the food and decorations, comes from your creative imagination to bring together your people for a party no one will ever forget. Sometimes it comes together like a beautiful symphony, other times it sounds like my junior high band room. We, as hosts, have a common goal: for our parties and events to become the thing of legend, setting the tone and ensuring everything falls into harmony. Over the past few decades and hundreds of events, I have identified a few things that help create the most legendary parties – the ones people talk about for years to come! So, whether you’re throwing a Shot In The Dark Mysteries murder mystery night (we hope you do!), orchestrating a milestone birthday or an intimate dinner party, here are 7 of my party hosting secrets (and one suggestion that’s not a big secret…) that you can implement to keep all the elements of your party pitch perfect!
1. Use a Trello Board
This is one of my favourite ways to keep my event planning organised. I have used Trello boards for everything from throwing birthday parties for my kids, to 3 day murder mystery events to summer kick off parties, my own personal murder mystery parties and more. For the record, I have no affiliation with Trello. I do, however, use them expertly when planning all manners of parties. Also, if you are collaborating with someone (like your Partner in Crime – see below!) it’s easy to share what’s been done and what’s still outstanding!
2. Create a Pinterest Board
Okay, this isn’t much of a secret, but did you really need me to give you another excuse to spend the evening with a glass of wine and Pinterest?
Where Trello helps organise your mind and ideas, Pinterest is the inspiration station – images of other people’s decorations, ideas and strategies all in one visual place. We have some fantastic Pinterest boards to help you with all manner of party hosting, so come check out our Pinterest boards and share yours with us!
3. Plan Buffer Days
When I host a party or facilitate someone else’s murder mystery game, I allow myself one or two “buffer days” before the party. To create buffer days, you must plan to have the pre-party tasks completed one or two days before the party. Then, if something does go wrong or you forget something, you have time to enact a contingency plan. For example, a vital guest cancels at the last minute leaving you with a character (or a place at the dining table) to fill. Because you’ve planned buffer days, you now have two whole days to find someone to take their place. Buffer days also help with food preparation, cleaning – anything else that could go wrong. If the heavens smile on you and everything goes to plan, you now have two days to relax so you greet your guests with a friendly smile rather than a forehead full of worry wrinkles and armpit sweat stains.
I know, that was gross. Sorry.
4. Be Assertive With RSVPs
Dinner parties, mystery games and surprise parties require the host to know who is attending ahead of time so they can assign characters, create place cards or ensure everyone is in place before the guest of honour arrives. Many hosts feel uncomfortable calling guests who are on the fence to ask if they will be attending definitively. Remember, you do not have to be aggressive, but you do want to be assertive. There is nothing wrong with calling your guests who haven’t committed and asking them for a solid answer. If they can’t commit, tell them you’re sorry to hear that, but you’ll have to move someone else into their place. With the guest list solidified, you will have one less thing to worry about in the final hours before your party.
Another one of my favourite things to do when throwing a murder mystery event is to give a deadline for RSVPs. If your guests know that they have to RSVP by the end of the week, you have a better chance of them actually RSVPing. They also won’t be surprised when you follow up the day after the deadline if they haven’t responded to get their answer.
5. Make The Dress Code Clear To Your Guests
Picture it: you’re hosting a late-October murder mystery party. You put on dress clothes, light candles and set the table nicely. Your first guests arrive in jeans and t-shirts. The next guests arrive dressed up as their character. Your third group of guests arrives in zombie costumes, assuming it was a Halloween theme.
You’re not the only one who can be embarrassed in this situation. Guests also worry about being under-dressed, over-dressed or inappropriately dressed. This can all be avoided with a simple “formal dress”, “cocktail dress” or “dress your character” notation on your invitations. It takes so much of the guess work out of things for your guests, and will also help them understand the theme. “Cocktail Dress” sets a very different tone from “Ugly Sweater Kegger”.
6. Craft a Fabulous Guest List
With a fantastic guest list, your party will undertake a life of its own. With a dull guest list – er, well, your party will follow suit. Think of the people you know. Though they are all your friends, some may thrive as a murder mystery game character and slinging accusations as fast as they do martinis, while others may thrive in a quiet dinner party setting.
So many hosts tell me that they just invite everyone to their party and hope everyone can make it, but in over two decades of party and event planning, I have found that this is not always the best strategy. Of course, we don’t want feelings to be hurt, but as hosts, we want our parties to be amazing. So, I challenge you to be discerning with your guest list, especially a murder mystery party, to make sure everyone (including you!) has a really great time.
7. Prevent Anticipatory Anxiety
Hosting an event can create anxiety and tension – but it doesn’t have to. Anticipatory anxiety – that is, trying to solve problems that do not yet exist, is the number one reason throwing parties can be stressful. Remember – not everything has to be perfect (I’m talking to myself here as well). The only person expecting perfection is you – your guests are probably just delighted to see you and excited to attend. So ease up on yourself and don’t expect perfection. No one is going to know that you planned to have everyone spool film on an old film projector to gain information about the mystery, only to have your film projector spontaneously burst into flames as you set up for the event.
(Yes, that happened to me while throwing a 3 day murder mystery event in Colorado.)
8. Select A Partner In Crime
(Get it? Because we throw murder mystery parties? I know you’re laughing on the inside…)
Designate a Partner in Crime – someone who can be on-call at the last minute in case things go horribly wrong. This could be a spouse, an older child or a friend. I’m a single mom, and have been for over a decade, so when something happens at the last minute, I can’t just send out hubby to handle things. I do, however, usually have enough friends coming to my parties and events that I can text them at the last minute and say, “I forgot to pick up ice, can you stop”, “The stack stools from the garage have been eaten by mice, can you bring some?” and even, “I forgot to include the Accusation Forms in the printing, can you stop at Staples and pick them up on your way here?” (Yes, all those things have happened).
Your Partner in Crime can help you by running last minute errands, finding more chairs when your guest list suddenly doubles, or even reminding you to remain calm if you freak out. If you choose a friend as your Partner in Crime, you can return the favour and become their Partner in Crime for their next event. Even though you may not use your Partner in Crime, knowing they are there to help will make your preparations less stressful.
Putting the “Art” in Party
We at SHOT really believe that Party Hosting is an art – one I personaly have been curating, tweaking and trying to perfect for over 20 years. But in the end, it’s alk about bringing our people together to create memories no one will ever forget!
Creating and throwing legendary, unforgettable parties requires the right preparation, creativity, and a few strategic moves to ensure everything falls into place. By using tools like Trello, planning buffer days, being assertive with RSVPs, and making sure your guest list is spot-on, you’ll have the foundation for a party that becomes instantly legendary. And with a clear dress code and the support of your Partner in Crime, you can focus on what really matters: making unforgettable memories with your guests. So take a deep breath, trust in your planning, and get ready to throw the party no one will ever forget!
