Arrrrg! Why is there nay pirate speak, ye saucy wench?
Before we go any further, I would like to state for the record that I am a saucy wench.
I love pirate speak.
But I’d like to tell you a story. It has a little to do with piracy, and a little to do with literacy. What’s the connection? No, I’m not going to go attacking ships on Lake Simcoe and stealing their reading materials. I’m not flying a Jolly Roger with the words “Read More” as I sail around Kempenfelt Bay (although that could be a fun publicity stunt). The story I’m about to tell you is much darker than jovial piracy on the Great Lakes.
I’m not going to lie to you, it was awful. Still to this day I shake my head in confusion. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back… waaaaaaaay back to my early days of mystery game writing – before Shot In The Dark Mysteries was born, when I was writing for *ahem* another company.
Before submitting a game, I would test them on friends, family and unsuspecting people in Starbucks who didn’t look busy. We would all get together to play the game, run it through and make sure it all worked properly.
One dark Saturday I called together some respected friends – those I held in the highest esteem, to run through a kids’ game I had just completed. By now the game testing process included a lot of beer and wine, even if it was a kids game, and there was a definite correlation between the rave reviews the mystery game received and the 2-4 becomming empty. So, a new rule was invoked – a one drink limit before the game was complete to ensure quality of testing and honest reviews.
It’s because of this binding one-drink law I can share this story with you and know, with complete confidence, that none of those involved were under the influence of any substance that may have numbed their faculties.
It was a medieval-themed turn-based mystery we were testing and the entire game was written in Old English speak – a type of format we had never tested as a group before. As the suspects went in order sharing their information with the group, a horrifying thing happened. All of a sudden, these people became illiterate! Only one person besides myself was able to read the clues aloud without arising suspicion over their acceptance of a junior high diploma.
THESE PEOPLE I RESPECTED WERE TURNED INTO COMPLETE BLUBBERING IDIOTS!
*shudder*
The game went a little something like this…
“At thee time of thee murder, I had – I had – um…. uh…. hey, dude beside me, what’s this word?”
“Naught.”
“Newt?”
“No, naught. It means none.”
“Naught. Thanks.”
“No problem – I just saw all of your hide information, by the way.”
“Crap.”
Not to mention all of the people who got words flat out wrong and then just rolled right over them. By the time this ilk was done reading their clue, there was silence, crickets and faces that looked like this:
Talk about a mood killer! The only word they COULD understand was “ale”, and by the time it was over I had drank it all to cope with the stress of watching my party tank.
I still see those blank, dumb expressions in my darkest of nightmares.
Because of this trauma, when I started Shot In The Dark Mysteries and could do whatever the hell I wanted, I decided to ban all fancy talk from the clues. Does this mean you CAN’T talk like a pirate, medieval jester, alien or other freakish character? Absolutely not! In fact, on a lot of the game pages I’ll recommend a page that will help you speak in that jargon. But it will not be forced upon you and your guests in the form of clues.
This policy will, no doubt, please some customers and irk others. Here’s the thing: I offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee on Shot In The Dark Mysteries’ downloaded games, so I’ve made this decision to safeguard my clients’ experience and give them a better chance of avoiding those horrified, confused, stupid expressions and having their guests look like idiots in front of a group of their peers.
Remember – these were grown (and sober!) adults. Imagine you’re a kid who perhaps isn’t a strong reader to begin with. That’s a completely different issue all together. So, return to the game of your choice and look for the resources offered to help you and your guests speak the clues in character – if you so choose.
